This just so happens to be one of my very favorite topics…for, oh, about a million reasons. To put it simply, implementing self-care is part of what changed my life. However, for years, I resisted it. I had an ongoing list of objections running through my head at any one time:

  • I need to be there for my family.
  • Doing things for myself is selfish.
  • I don’t want to!
  • I don’t have enough time.
  • It will be too hard.

Does any of this sound familiar? I had to work on my mindset around self-care before I could start implementing. Now that I’ve been leaning into pleasure, self-care, honoring myself and truly loving myself, I have a whole new outlook on who self-care is actually serving. Is it serving you? Yes…but it’s not actually about you. For those of us who are here to make this world a better place, it’s actually about the gift our self-care brings to everyone around us.

Today I want to share why self-care is your divine responsibility.

The reason self-care is so important, especially for sensitive and empathic women who have a huge mission to make the world a better place, is because when your cup is empty, you cut yourself off from your gift and your divine mission. I’ve seen it over and over. Sensitive women who give and give out of love (and often obligation), and completely resist the intuitive messages of their body as it begs, “Please slow down. Please take a break. Please let me rest. Please let me feel. Please let me play.” Or the nudges of their soul, who pleads, “Please nourish me, give me pleasure, let me soar.”

Then comes the crash. The move into meltdown. The shift into overwhelm…and they stop shining because they simply can’t. They have nothing left to give.

We’re so passionate about helping and giving because ultimately, it makes us feel so good. However, when we don’t give to ourselves, we are no use to anybody else. We become ineffectual. Many of us hold the mindset that our greatest priority is our mission: changing the world by transforming and healing lives takes center stage. But we’ve got it backwards:

You are your biggest priority.

So it’s of divine importance to reframe this so that you wake up every day and think, “All right, I am my biggest priority. How can I take care of myself today? How can I own that I am worth taking care of? What can I do today to make myself feel amazing?” Because the more amazing you feel, the more energy you will have, the more passionate you will feel, the more filled up you will be! You will be in love with yourself and your life. That’s the best gift you could give to anybody!

What is your story around self-care?

So what is your story? Do you feel that self-care is selfish? Is seeking pleasure in life self-absorbed? Let’s shift this. Too many of us feel like it’s selfish to attend to ourselves and our happiness. We feel that we’re not worthy and that we shouldn’t take the time because we’re supposed to be taking care of everybody else. We have a lot of stories around why self-care shouldn’t or can’t be a priority. We’re not taking care of ourselves or putting ourselves first, letting ourselves have any fun, experiencing pleasure, walling in our delicious desires and dreams and all the great, visionary, creative and fun stuff that makes life worth living!

When it comes to your self-care and your pleasures and passions, I want you to be selfish.

I want you to wake up every single day and do something that makes you feel incredible because the better you feel, the more you will bring your magic to the world and pass that feeling on to other people. We are energetic creatures that feed off each other and the better you feel, the more you’re going to raise everybody else up. So it’s your job to take care of yourself and to get into this really good feeling place so you can bring your best self forward for the sake of everyone around you.

You’ll notice if you watch the video below that I was feeling awesome when I filmed it. I don’t know if you can feel it, but I was lit up! The sun was shining. I had some coffee. (Swoon) I was feeling really good because I made it a priority.

Every single day I think of myself first. I know that I have a big mission in the world, and I want to reach as many people as I can. It is my business to take the best care of myself as I can so I can share my gifts with everybody else. I want every person who comes into contact with me to feel loved. I know I’m not able to give that if I’m a depleted and overwhelmed mess hiding out in my bedroom.

I would love to hear from you, so please comment below!

With so much love,

P.S. Scroll down for a free gift. If you’re a Highly Sensitive Person and would like some tips on empowering your own Inner Badass, I’ve written a special FREE eBook just for you.


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Cortney is a transformational coach, writer, speaker, mentor for Highly Sensitive Badasses TM, and founder of the coaching program: The Sensitive Badass Badass Personal Coaching Program and the Sensitive Badass Sisterhood. She is passionate about helping women tap into their unique brilliance through divine self-care so they can live their highest purpose and reach their full potential. She offers private and group transformational and empowerment coaching programs for highly sensitive and empathic women.

Cortney earned a B.A. from Vassar College in Art History and a Masters of Architecture from Catholic University. Following her heart later in life, she became certified as a health coach with the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. She became a “health architect,” dealing with her own health crisis and struggle to manage anxiety and depression. She is also a proud graduate of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts Mastery program, a NYC institution that teaches women to use the power of pleasure to have their way with the world.

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