I was talking to a good friend of mine this morning, a fellow HSP, and we had a great a-ha moment on the phone. You know those friends who just lift you up? The ones who are the best cheerleaders in your life? The ones who support and love you and throw nothing but positivity your way? Well, she is one of those. I call those “Superfriends.” It had been over a month since I had spoken to her and we both agreed that way too much time had passed. We made a deal to talk at least once a week so we could lift each other up and raise each other’s positive vibes.

It is said that you are the accumulation of the 5 people

you spend the most time with.

Let’s think about that for a moment: Who are the 5 people who you spend most of your life with? What kind of people are they? As HSP’s, we need to be very in tune with the people we are spending out time with. Why? Read on.

As highly sensitive people, especially empaths,

we can be deeply affected by others’ energy.

On the one hand, that is pretty awesome because if we are hanging out with Superfriends, we are surrounded by positivity and we will likely feel pretty damn good! However, hanging out with Negative Nellie’s, the Complainers, and the Sulky Steve’s ( I made that one up – not bad, right?) of the world, can leave us feeling pretty low, if not downright drained. I’ve been there many times, and I’m sure you can relate!

Does this mean you have to ditch everyone you love

who complains or is negative? Nope. Not at all.

No one is perfect. Personally, I’ve been known to complain and have my Negative Nelly days. Gasp! Thank you for being shocked. It’s hard to believe, I know. 🙂 We all have our moments, and so do our Superfriends. However, everyone is on a different journey and some people out there have worked hard to find more positivity than negativity in their lives. There are people out there who are more aware of their energy than others. These are the people who tend to make awesome Superfriends.

What do these people have in common? Superfriends tend to practice the following:

  1. Gratitude: No matter what is going on, Superfriends will find something to be grateful for on a daily basis. The gift of simply being alive, breathing, and feeling the sun on your face is enough to be grateful for. Finding gratitude in all things, big and small. This is a daily practice for Superfriends.
  2. Positive Focus: Another Superpower is finding the positive in all situations. The practice at looking on the bright side of things takes work. Some of us are better at it than others, but this is one area that Superfriends work on daily. Finding the good, seeking out the positive, training the mind to see the light while it feels like it’s in the dark.
  3. Non-Judgment: Superfriends are pretty amazing at accepting you for who you are. This might be one of the best perks of hanging out with Superfriends: they love you for who you are and they want the very best for you at all times. This is priceless.

It’s time to take stock of your current support system: Are you surrounded by enough positive people? Or are you surrounding yourself with too many toxic people? No judgment here, either way. Simply take stock of your current situation and if you notice things are out of whack, it’s time to add more Superfriends to your life.

Need More Superfriends? Here’s How:

For many of us, it may feel like Superfriends can be hard to find. Personally, as a highly sensitive person, I used to feel very trapped in my own head and I struggled to create deep friendships with people. I did have a few friends, but I had not yet become a Superfriend myself, so it was yet not possible for me to attract Superhero friends. You attract what you put out, and I was not in the habit of thinking positively, supporting others, practicing gratitude or non-judgment. That came with inner work.

Over the past few years as my mindset has changed, my overall energy, vibe, whatever you want to call it has skyrocketed. I finally have Superhero friends! I’m sharing this so that you don’t immediately worry if you aren’t surrounded by positive people who build you up. The fact is, they are hard to come by and it takes some inner work to get to the point where these people show up in your life in droves. However, the more you work on yourself, the more you will find that you will draw these Superfriends into your life. The work starts from within. I love the saying:

Give more of whatever it is you want more of.

Want more money? Give more money.

Want more love? Give more love.

Want more Superfriends? Be a Superfriend.

On a final note, and possibly the most important part of this post: We also have to be our own Superfriend. If we are plagued by an inner voice who nags, criticizes, judges, berates, and only looks to the negative, we aren’t being a very good friend to the most important person in our lives: ourselves. The better we become at building up our own inner Superhero, the better we will show up as a Superhero for others. When we start showing up as a Superhero for others, we will attract more of them into our own lives.

With so much love,

P.S. If you’re a Highly Sensitive Person and would like some tips on empowering your own Inner Badass, I’ve written a special FREE eBook just for you.

Free eBook: From Highly Sensitive Hot Mess to Highly Sensitive Badass: 8 Steps to Empowerment for Highly-Sensitive People, Empaths and Intuitives.

Simply sign up below and it will be delivered right to your inbox! You’ll also get my blog posts delivered via email.

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You can also find me on Facebook and Instagram.



Cortney is a transformational coach, writer, speaker, mentor for Highly Sensitive Badasses TM, and founder of the coaching program: The Sensitive Badass Badass Personal Coaching Program and the Sensitive Badass Sisterhood. She is passionate about helping women tap into their unique brilliance through divine self-care so they can live their highest purpose and reach their full potential. She offers private and group transformational and empowerment coaching programs for highly sensitive and empathic women.

Cortney earned a B.A. from Vassar College in Art History and a Masters of Architecture from Catholic University. Following her heart later in life, she became certified as a health coach with the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. She became a “health architect,” dealing with her own health crisis and struggle to manage anxiety and depression. She is also a proud graduate of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts Mastery program, a NYC institution that teaches women to use the power of pleasure to have their way with the world.

Cortney lives in Baltimore with her 2 kids, her dog and her husband. A passionate traveler, photographer, gardener and foodie, when she isn’t dancing or listening to music (her favorite things!), Cortney is all about engaging all of her senses in service to her inner badass—and awakening the inner badass in every highly sensitive person she encounters!

Are you Highly Sensitive? Take the quiz at thehighlysensitivebadass.com


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  1. Trudi October 4, 2016 at 10:22 pm Reply

    Wow! Thank you for sharing this.

  2. Trudi October 4, 2016 at 10:22 pm Reply

    Wow! Thank you for sharing this.

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