This week, I want to share some of my “story” with you.
My “story” was that I couldn’t do the things I really wanted to do, or be the person that I knew deep down that I could be because of my sensitivity. In my eyes, it was ruining everything for me. I blamed it. I vilified it. I used it as the “reason” that I couldn’t show up for myself the way that I truly wanted to.
A story is our truth. It’s our past. However, when we identify too strongly with it, it can end up keeping us stuck, preventing us from forging a new path forward. At this point, it becomes, “Our story.” Are you familiar?
I write all this with so much love and compassion if you are feeling stuck. I can really be painful when we open our eyes to the ways that we’ve given our power over to our story, or when we realize that we’ve been playing the victim. If you haven’t already, I write about my journey on my website and in my e-book. (CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD) I discuss how I was entrenched in “victim-mode” in regards to my sensitivity for years, so I get it on a very personal level.
I am not trying to minimize or discount the challenges you face as an empath or as a highly sensitive person. I am, however, challenging the identity you may have unwittingly created for yourself.
This work is about changing your perspective. I talk about “Mindset” all the time, and this is a prime example of what I mean.
For even more inspiration, please scroll down to read my client’s story: Amy turned the tables on her story around her sensitivity. She went from victim to her own hero. She claimed her power and is a true inspiration.
In this week’s video, I talk about what can happen when we our too identified with what we perceive as the limitations of being a highly sensitive person. Click below to watch.
Amy’s Story (Client Inspiration):
I grew up in an environment where my parents were loving, yet over-protective. Being the eldest daughter of the family and (unbeknownst to myself) an HSP, gave way to an upbringing where I was constantly trying to be “the good girl” and sensing what people of authority (my parents, my teachers) wanted of me and constantly trying to please them.
I didn’t know why I thought and felt so deeply, why I couldn’t get out of my head, and why I was constantly afraid of what people thought of me. And I began to see my mind as a hindrance, something that has got to be fixed. Having experienced bouts of depression since high school, I always thought that my heart of glass and roller-coaster emotions were going to handicap me for life. It seemed that if only I could toughen up, be more happy-go-lucky, then I would be able to “live life.”
It was only through Cortney’s one-on-one coaching sessions that I began to realize that I had been trying to tackle the problem from the wrong direction; which was seeing the problem as a problem. I had been ferociously trying to bat away my thoughts as if they were swarming gnats all these years; that I was the victim of this mind and hence, lifestyle.
But what if all the things I thought were wrong with me were not? What if I didn’t need to fix anything? These were the questions Cortney casually tossed in my direction, which I embraced with a wholehearted “WHAT???”
From the standpoint of a victim, it was impossible to comprehend a world of empowerment.
The paradigm shift from victim to empowerment was earth-shattering. There were many dimensions of changing the mindset that got me there, and it literally domino-effected all other areas. The past does not change, but the way I perceived it drastically shifted.
Also, I realized that these days I don’t freak out in noisy environments, or hyperventilate in HSP-unfriendly situations. I get tired, overstimulated, and overwhelmed, yes, but I don’t play the “I’m HSP and so fragile and allergic to being happy-go-lucky” card. I think empowerment has helped me find strength to cope (the mindset of “I can handle this, I’m okay” that Cortney has been reinforcing through coaching), and knowing how to implement self-care after being overwhelmed has been a great safety net as well. I am still the bookworm introvert who would rather stay away from the bustle of the city, but I’m okay with that.
Empowerment doesn’t mean I am transformed into Marvel Comic’s Wonder Woman. The size of my cup of handling the intake of sensory information and emotion has not been replaced, but rather I now see the cup as the size it is, accepting it, and learning how not to let the cup overflow (and how to handle and be okay with it when it does).
Showing up as victim is easy, because it means you are not at fault; there is always someone or something to blame. But it also meant I was handing out power to “others (who half of them don’t even exist!)” and leaving me with a much-depleted version of myself. Empowerment means that I take responsibility of how I live my life, with understanding that actions have consequences. But owning up to how I live is living a fuller version of who I was meant to be, flaws, mistakes and all. And it’s a much better place to be.
-Amy Uchida, Highly Sensitive Badass, Japan
So ask yourself: Are you showing up as a victim to your sensitivity? Are you ready to write a new story or create a new chapter?
As always, I would love to hear from you, so please comment below to let me know your a-ha’s and takeaways from this week’s love note!
All my love,
PS: I have been very hard at work and I am thrilled to let you know what I’ve been working on! I’ll send a more official announcement soon, but in the meantime, please have a look at my new Programs by clicking on the links below! Check out my brand new e-course: The Overwhelm Cure: Energy Management 101! An introduction to managing your energy – a crucial skill for HSP’s and empaths! 🙂