For days I’ve been running. 

Putting up my shield.

Internally raging and saying, “No! I won’t go with you. I don’t want to go there. I want to stay here. Please go away.”

Here is the light. My joy. My happiness. My enthusiasm. My motivation. My drive. My passion.

There is my shadow. My dark. Depression. Slow. Internal. Lazy. Tears perched right behind my eyes.

I’ve experienced the massive resistance of my inner voices telling me to run away. To think my way out of it. To do everything in my power to make it disappear so I can stay in my light. I’ve exercised. I’ve danced. I’ve used my light box. I’ve meditated. I’ve socialized and met with friends. I’ve bathed myself in positivity and motivation.

Yet, it’s still here. My shadow. Settling in, and desiring some time with me.

This past year has been spent making friends with my dark. Learning to lean into it. Welcome it. Accept it. Love it.

Because it’s part of me, and I’ve spent my entire life trying to eradicate it, when instead, it’s my choice to love it. To love all of me. To love and accept my cycles, my seasons.

So I will acknowledge it. Say hello. Invite it in as a guest, knowing that it won’t stay forever.

So for today, I will not run.

I will write.

I will go slow.

I will light a fire and incense.

I will take a bath.

I will love myself.

I will walk in the sunshine.

I will cuddle with my dog.

I will find my self-compassion.

I will be quiet.

I will just be.

Because after the night, comes the light.

With you in light and dark,

P.S. If you’re a Highly Sensitive Person and would like some tips on empowering your own Inner Badass, I’ve written a special FREE eBook just for you.

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Cortney is a transformational coach, writer, speaker, mentor for Highly Sensitive Badasses TM, and founder of the coaching program: The Sensitive Badass Badass Personal Coaching Program and the Sensitive Badass Sisterhood. She is passionate about helping women tap into their unique brilliance through divine self-care so they can live their highest purpose and reach their full potential. She offers private and group transformational and empowerment coaching programs for highly sensitive and empathic women.

Cortney earned a B.A. from Vassar College in Art History and a Masters of Architecture from Catholic University. Following her heart later in life, she became certified as a health coach with the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. She became a “health architect,” dealing with her own health crisis and struggle to manage anxiety and depression. She is also a proud graduate of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts Mastery program, a NYC institution that teaches women to use the power of pleasure to have their way with the world.

Cortney lives in Baltimore with her 2 kids, her dog and her husband. A passionate traveler, photographer, gardener and foodie, when she isn’t dancing or listening to music (her favorite things!), Cortney is all about engaging all of her senses in service to her inner badass—and awakening the inner badass in every highly sensitive person she encounters!

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